workinghereislikeworkinginnorthkorea

Some jobs are bad. And some jobs are BAD.

Month: August, 2011

Gay

I received a work comp submission for a gay bar.  It was declined.  I soon learned that we are not allowed (by OUR management) to accept work comp submissions for gay bars…

Straight bars are allowed.

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No Parking

My employer doesn’t allow its employees to park in our parking lot. There are TONS of open spots, enough for our staff, and then some. Instead, we are required to park in a public lot across the street.

The owner of the company parks his Lexus up on the sidewalk, beside the entrance of the building.

To give notice, or not to give notice.

There is no set guideline for turning in a 2-week notice in the event of a resignation.  The going policy is, “Sometime’s we honor them, and sometimes we don’t.”

Apparently, it all depends on whether or not the owner of the company is in a good or bad mood that day.  Seriously.  This is the reasoning behind it.

What does this mean for the employee?  Simple.  You can turn in a 2 week notice, at the risk of getting dismissed on the spot.  Or you can simply leave without notice, and receive a bad reference from management, if another employer calls to verify.

Lose/lose.

Thought I will say it helps if you’re an attractive female.

Signatures

Today, while searching for a file that had mysteriously disappeared from my computer’s desktop, I stumbled upon a folder within several other folders.  The folder was given the name “sig”.

Now, I originally found this because I accidentally double clicked the wrong folder.  What I found came as quite a shock to me:

In this folder were .png files of each employee’s signature.  It was as though they had taken each signature from a document that each individual had signed, cleaned it up, and make a graphic out of it.  This is pretty heavy stuff.

But why?  Why couldn’t they simply ask for a signature when it’s needed?

Wouldn’t this be considered digital forgery, if those signatures are tampered with?  How easy would it be to smack that signature on something that needs signing that no sane human would sign?

Would I get fired if I brought it up to management?

Covenant Not to Compete

We are constantly receiving “amendments” to the employee handbook that we are required to agree to.  If we do not agree to these amendments, we are potentially subject to termination.

The most amusing amendment I received was the requirement to sign a covenant not to compete.  This is a contract that you sign, that basically says “If I quit my job here, or if I am fired, I will not take on another job in any function that may take business away from the company.”

It should also be noted, that several employees have since left the company, at which time an investigation was performed to determine their new place of business, for the SOLE PURPOSE of notifying their new employer of their signing a covenant not to compete.

Included in the wording was the employees agreement that he or she would not divulge any trade secrets that the company has.

When someone inquired as to these so-called “trade secrets,” upper management said the following:

“For example, we use Microsoft Excel Spreadsheets in conducting business each and every day.  You would not be allowed to do so at your new job.”

Because apparently, this company invented the excel spreadsheet.  Crazy!  This entire time, I was working for Microsoft, and I never knew it!

The bulk of the contract basically says that we would not be allowed to conduct business with any retail insurance agents that are currently contracted with the company.

…We are a wholesale brokerage whose book of business includes over 30,000 retail agents.  Do ex employees receive a phonebook-sized list of these agents so they’ll know who NOT to work with?  I didn’t think so.